Funny Quotes

Bumper Sticker
Warning: Dates on calendar are closer than they appear.
IRS
We've got what it takes to take what you have got.
Bumper Sticker
Go on, I'll see you at the next traffic light.
Religious
Satan subtracts and divides. God multiplies and multiplies.
Bumper Sticker
I'm not deaf.. I'm just ignoring you.
William Hagan
A very nasty man just tried to kill us all." Speaking to passengers of a plane going to Nairobi, a British Airways captain announced over the loudspeaker after recovering control from a man who stormed into the cabain and seized the flight controls of the plane and made the plane lurch.
Bumper Sticker
Pay attention and drive.
Bumper Sticker
Don't take my signals literally.
Jon Stewart
Every time I turn you on, it looks like a Matlock book club." Jon Stewart spoke these words to host Larry King.
Bumper Sticker
Paranoids have enemies too.
Religious
Wal-Mart isn't the only saving place!
Bumper Sticker
Sometimes I wake up grumpy, other times I let her sleep