The Bingos Took My Baby

An eight month old Australian baby screams and cries to go to Bingo. Young mother Philipa Shanks of Wallahjacaroo Springs, is being driven to tears by her baby Peony. " If I don't take her to Bingo every day she throws a fit."
Philipa blames herself for her child's strange addiction. " I've always gone to Bingo. Even when pregnant with Peony, I never missed a night. I went straight from the Bingo hall to the hospital to have her. "
Baby Peony seemed a normal Australian baby in every way until one night her mother had a bad cold and didn't go to Bingo. "She flew into a rage, wouldn't stop screaming, cried herself blue and wouldn't stop till I put her in her pram and wheeled her to the Bingo hall."
Peony's addiction seems to be getting worse. Her mother has been taking her to Bingo every day. "She's never missed an evening's Bingo since she was born but lately after the Bingo's over she doesn't want to go home. I've had to find an all night Bingo and bought her a Bingo game to play while at home. I don't know what else I can do. I'm at my wits end."
The Bingos' Young Victim
Peony Shanks of Wallahjacaroo Springs, Australia,
Australian Expert Professor Trevor Rupert Lonie was called in to help.
Professor Lonie quickly diagnosed Peony as suffering from Fetal Bingo Addiction Syndrome (FBAS). "It's becoming more and more common. I've diagnosed dozens of babies so far, and Peony isn't the worst FBAS case."
The Professor warns "Pregnant women should stay away from Bingos! The fetus is very susceptible to the bingo calling, the repetition, the adrenaline surges are all transferred and amplified to the fetus. It's like a drug to them"
Professor Lonie has seen the worst of this syndrome. "I've seen babies born clutching at Bingo markers, babies fixated by numbers or the letters b.i.n.g.o.. Babies crawling for miles to get to a Bingo game. Some babies have resorted to crime to feed this awful craving. Stealing from their mother's purses, even shoplifting."
What can be done for these poor children?
Prof. Lonie acknowledged that the treatment for these children is still in it's infancy. " The cold turkey methods won't work with these babies they must be weaned away from Bingo slowly. I've been treating one FBAS child for eleven years who still breaks into a cold sweat when he hears the song 'There Was A Farmer Who Had A Dog and Bingo Was His Name'. It's very sad."
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The Australian Government is now requiring warning labels on all Bingo cards. U.S., Canadian and British Governments are considering the same measures.