Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Scare The Pooh Out Of The Birds

Tired of the birds emptying your bird seed feeder? Use the new Scare Crow Bird Seed Feeder and you’ll never have to refill your bird seed feeder again. Our Street Reporters have seen cases where bird seed stayed in the bird seed feeder until they finally grew into little birds.

Wanna Scare The Crap Outa Your Kids

The ladybug, dragonfly, ant, bee and grasshopper have beautiful realistic details based on insect field guides. Hanging tabs allow for an insect display in a child’s room. I know I would have nightmares.

Celebrity Fun

A recent article in Star magazine was speculating whether or not Ashlee Simpson had undergone a nose job. Side by side photos compared the bumpy "before" nose with a slightly less bumpy "after" nose. I looked hard, but couldn't really tell the difference. I did however, notice her chin. I've never been able to pinpoint exactly what Ashlee Simpson reminds me of until I picked up a book about optical illusions and saw the classic Young Girl - Old Woman Illusion.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

A LIL Down South Humor

You know you're a redneck when....
You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the table in front of her kids.
You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.
Jack Daniel's makes your list of "Most Admired People."
You think Genitalia is an Italian airline.
You wonder how gas stations keep their restrooms so clean.
Someone in your family died right after saying "Hey, y'all watch this!"
The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas is in it.
Ya' can't git married to yer sweetheart 'cause there's a dang law against it.
You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

Cute Faces Innanimate Objects

FACES*****************************************Cutely Clever!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, January 29, 2007

Now Who Is The Bigger Man??

An MG Midget pulled alongside a Rolls-Royce at a traffic light. "Do you have a car phone?" its driver asked the guy in the Rolls.
"Of course I do," replied the haughty deluxe-car driver.
"Well, do you have a fax machine?"
"The driver in the Rolls sighed. "I have that too."
"Then do you have a double bed in the back?" the Midget driver wanted to know.
Ashen-faced, the Rolls driver sped off. That afternoon, he had a mechanic install a double bed in his auto.
A week later, the Rolls driver passes the same MG Midget, which is parked on the side of the road--back windows fogged up and steam pouring out. The arrogant driver pulls over, gets out of the Rolls and bangs on the Midget's back window until the driver sticks his head out. "I want you to know that I had a double bed installed," brags the Rolls driver.
The Midget driver is unimpressed. "You got me out of the shower to tell me that?"

Clone Gone Wrong

With all the recent talk of cloning, you'd think it was a new thing. But in fact, a very wealthy westerner had himself cloned many years ago.
The boy grew up to have very foul mouth. The more the son swore, the madder the father got.
One day, the father got so mad he pushed his son off a high cliff.
The sheriff arrested him for making an obscene clone fall.

Defining Emo Shown- An Emo Elmo

'myspaceEmo is a music term, abbreviated from emo-core, which was shortened from emotional-hardcore. It describes music derived from hardcore punk but which is characterized by emotional lyrics. Emo images always appear sad or depressed.

Hermit Crab Upkeep Tells how to feed and care for these amazing pets. Have had a couple and they are a lot of fun and low maintenance. No housebreaking, or litter boxes to mess with. It is fun finding different shells for them and they change thier homes quite often, after all who wants to wear the same wardrobe all the time??

Just What A Person Needs- More Buzz- Hoot

Advances In Doughnuts
What an amazing world we live in: Scientist develops caffeinated doughnuts.
hat cup of coffee just not getting it done anymore? How about a Buzz Donut or a Buzzed Bagel? That's what Doctor Robert Bohannon, a Durham, North Carolina, molecular scientist, has come up with. Bohannon says he's developed a way to add caffeine to baked goods, without the bitter taste of caffeine. Each piece of pastry is the equivalent of about two cups of coffee.

This Could Be Something I Wrote LOL

Pickles and I were on a roll this morning. We got up at 7:30, ate breakfast, played a little, unloaded the dishwasher, and were working by 9 a.m. (this is our new schedule). We went through the bills and wrote checks, updated our calendar, sent out our invoices for last week's work, and gathered up all of the mail to head to the post office and the bank. We headed out the door and even remembered to grab the hangers we were going to drop off at the dry cleaner on our way home.As the front door slammed behind us, I dropped everything I was holding and screamed, "Oh, NO!" Pickles looked at me, confused. The garbage men, who had just arrived, looked at me, amused. I looked at my own reflection in the now locked front door, ready to cry. I had remembered everything but the keys. I couldn't get back in and I couldn't go anywhere, either. For an idea of what my despair looked like, check out the handy photo above, keeping in mind that (1) I am not a man and (2) I do not live in an apartment and (3) if I did live in an apartment, I wouldn't put my apartment number on the Internet.First, I tried rattling the doorknob in the hopes that the front door would spontaneously unlock. Then, I grabbed Pickles and my purse and ran around to the back of the house to try to get in through the sliding door. Ironically, I was extremely responsible today and not only locked but also wedged shut the sliding door with our anti-break-in bar, which we usually use only at night.
Then I had another thought. A LADDER! Maybe I could get in through the window on the landing of the stairs. We usually lock it, but hey, I'd forgotten my keys, so chances were good that the window could also have been forgotten. No dice. Then I ran back around the front of the house to check the other windows. No dice. Then I tried using one of the metal dry-cleaning hangers to pick the lock. No dice. (I suck at breaking and entering.)
Oh, and did I mention that with all of my door jiggling and attempted window jimmying, I managed to set off our security system? As if the cats weren't already freaked out enough by my attempts at breaking into the house, the airhorn-like security siren started wailing. Awesome. That was when I gave up and finally called my husband at work since, hey, he was going to be getting a call from ADT soon anyway, and I figured I'd better assure him that it was his moron wife trying to break in, not some social miscreant.
Once he stopped laughing he started problem solving. "Let me call you back." Gee, thanks, hon, I'll just sit out here on the deck with my purse and my puppy and no keys and listen to the soothing screech of the alarm siren. Good solution. He called back a few minutes later and told me that he was going to drive home an hour from work and let me in because I'd end up waiting even longer for a locksmith. (I swear I heard his boss laughing in the background.)
Forty-five minutes later, he called again. "Where are you?" I asked. "You don't want to know," he said. "You haven't left yet, have you?" "Nope." Awesome. So, long story short, I locked myself out at 10:30 and didn't get back in until 2. I had Pickles' leash, but I was wearing slippers, so I couldn't really take her for a walk. (Yes, I'm a 97-year-old grandmother -- I run errands in my slippers.) We did, however, make it up to the 7-11 on the corner (Did I mention that I live in the ghetto, which is probably why the neighbors didn't seem to mind/notice a woman trying to climb through a window on a ladder?) to get an iced tea and some Cheez-Its (I was hungry), and Pickles got some treats from the dog "barkery" next door (she was hungry), but it wasn't exactly an epic journey.
And now to head out again to go to the post office and the bank -- and this time I will definitely be bringing my keys with me, probably glued to my hand.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Some Small Thing Wrong Here

The Rotary Club of Chatham, in Miramichi, New Brunswick, is planning to build a new "eco-centre" to raise environmental awareness. Their fundraiser for this noble project is a raffle.The raffle prize: a HUMVEE. The Club sees no irony in the fact that anyone with environmental awareness wouldn't be caught dead in a Hummer, unless they were driving it off a cliff to save the world from its emissions.
"It's not any more a gas guzzler than anything that's out on the highway now," [Rotary member Leon] Bremner said. "I've had plenty of people that say they'll get better gas mileage with this Hummer than they will their vehicle." Well, okay, assuming that this is their current vehicle.

Problems With A Capital P

A man walks into his doctor's office and sits down in the waiting room. While he is waiting his turn to be seen, an acquaintance walks in and sits down next to him. The newcomer asks "W w what are yyy you ddd doing here Fred?" The man replies, " I am waiting to see the doctor." "W wwhy dd do yyy you wwant to sss see hhim?" The man replies, "Well, if you must know, I have a prostate problem. " A pp prostate ppp problem, wwhat's ttthat?" "Well, if you must know. I pee like you talk."
Posted by The Head Geezer Links to this post

This Would Be Fun

How can you create a true snapshot of our global society, and sum up its diversity in one single picture? Simple. Get together one million ordinary people from all around the world, and get them to work on the picture together in the world's largest ever artistic collaboration. A collaboration where everyone is equal, where all outcomes are valid.
We are asking you to draw a small square image using software on our website. You don't need to be an artist or be able to draw - you can make patterns, write words, doodle - what-ever you want. The One Million Masterpiece - The world's largest ever artistic collaboration.(via The Presurfer)

Friday, January 26, 2007

Let's Go Back In Time When Things Were Funny

check out these stylin' grooming tips! There is a lot more here even some edible items-Yum!!

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Toddler To Be Charged As An Adult

A 2 year -old Berlin, North Dakota, resident Shari Kleinschimdt was recently charged with felonious assault with a deadly weapon after womping a 4 year old playmate over the head with a plastic baseball bat early Monday."This is an ugly, ugly situation, to say the least." . "Don't be fooled by the the kid's innocent little blue eyes and cutsie little Sponge Bob underwear, this kids a killer...get em' now, or they'll grow up and get you later, that's what I say!"

Do You Know The Mildew Man??

-- Early last Thursday, thirty year-old Robert Malcolm discovered something eerie caked on his shower wall.
"It was mildew," he said. "Not unusual for my shower, I guess; but it seemed to spell out 'have a good day.' I thought 'what an amazing coincidence,' and I decided to take a picture when I got home from work."
But Malcolm found another moldy note waiting for him when he returned.
"This time it was, 'Hope work went well,' and there was a smiley face below the words," said Malcolm. "The mildew in my apartment was definitely trying to communicate with me."
The apparition has vindicated Malcolm's cleaning habits.
"The stain is alive, and sentient, and obviously grateful I haven't tried to kill it. I think it's developing a bond with me."
Visitors still recoil at the sight of the chatty fungal buildup, but Malcolm still has no intention of scrubbing it away.
"It's nice to have someone to come home to," he said. "I hate to say it, but this mildew's really grown on me."

Helmets Make The Snacks Look Better

If you'll be sitting at home watching the big game, you might as well make the most of it with some junk food in a replica Snack Helmet.The Snack Helmets, which cost $50 each, have a large container up top for chips and a smaller tray with two compartments in the facemask for peanuts, candy, dip or your favorite antacid.(via tatakidai

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Some Unique Record Covers

Some Amusing Links:

Latest great use put to local gov’t grants in the UK: teaching immigrants how to swing on the trapeze . . . . . A 23-yr-old man was arrested in Hilton Head Island, S.C., when police spotted him having a fistfight with some shrubbery (Alcohol Was Involved, AWI) . . . . . Soldier Field Built Too Close to Lake Michigan: Two people (maybe a third) apparently fell into the almost ice-cubed water Sunday night celebrating the Bears’ victory (AWI) . . . . . Three words: feral Tsih Tzus . . . . . A freshly-minted Scotland Yard graduate (who is also a Muslim) declined a congratulatory handshake with the police chief because her religion won’t let her touch a man who’s not a relative, but she’s sure Islam won’t mind when she jumps on a male perp if her partner’s in trouble . . . . . A basement flat in London’s oh-so-swanky Knightsbridge is about to go for the equivalent of $4,340 a square foot (all 77 of them, which is like 9 ft by 8.5 ft, which’ll cost you $335k, plus whatever you have to spend to install electricity and heating).

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Baby Man Or Man Baby? You Decide

It's late on a warm Thursday night, and William Windsor heads to the checkout stand at the Fry's supermarket at 20th Street and Highland Avenue, in central Phoenix.Customers and cashiers stare at the 5-foot-11, 180-pound man, who is dressed in a pink bonnet, pink shorty dress, and white patent leather shoes. Under his dress, you can see his diaper. He takes his place in line with a carry-all basket full of juice and Gerber baby food.'Oh shit! It's Baby Man,' says one cashier, a Hispanic kid who's heard the legend but has never been a witness to the spectacle. 'It's like Sasquatch!' he says. 'You don't believe it exists until you see it.'

Monday, January 22, 2007

My Worst Nightmare Yipes!!

Flying snakes are a small group of species of tree snakes that live in South and Southeast Asia.At rest they appear unremarkable, but on the move they're able to take to the air by jumping from the tree, flattening the entire body, and gliding or parachuting to the ground or another tree.There are five species of flying snakes and most adult snakes are 3-4 feet long. They do not have wings but they are able to flatten their bodies from head to vent when they are in the air.'Flying Snakes' is dedicated to documenting the science of these unique animals. Most people fear spiders well I fear snakes (SHUDDER)!!

And The Beat Goes "Yawwwnnnnnn"

It may not be one of life's deepest mysteries, but as scientific conundrums go, it has a peculiar staying power. Why is yawning contagious?Researchers recently found that yawning isn't only catching among people; it is also among chimpanzees. No one has devised a fully convincing explanation of why.

My M&M's- Matthew's True Story

This is a true story of how alcohol stole my young son's life.If you don't read anything else on my pages please READ THIS!! Please copy and paste it wherever you'd like-it's a story that needs to be told!!
I have been going to blog about this for quite a while now.I was always a fraid I would'nt have the right words to say and I realize I may never have them - September of 1975 we were blessed with a beautiful baby girl named Monica ! Her daddy and I were ecstatic as we were beginning to think we wouldn't be able to have kids.The minute this little doll saw her daddy's face she appeared to be saying "Oh daddy I love you so much". I wish we had a camera to embrace this moment but as luck would have it we didn't think about it.In August of 1980 we were once again blessed with a strapping and darling baby boy! He was a spit-fire ( was rolling over minutes after he was born).From day one he was his sister's baby and noone else could pick him up except sis.Every picture we have of Matthew, sis was there too, snuggling him up neath her tiny chin.Even though they were 5 years apart this closeness went on until Matthew was in Jr. High, after that High School came along for big sis so she was able to do more things with her friends and he went his way with his own.
Everyone called them the little M&M's because of their initials and they were always together. And as you can see in the photo they also looked very much alike. I think they were both in 2nd grade when the pics were taken. Different years of course but in the pics , same age.
In March 2005 our world and life as we knew it came crashing down. Matthew and I had our usual gm hug and love yous and then he went back and laid down. He complained of his back hurting and I asked if I could do anything and he said "No mom just a glass of water I am thirsty". So he got his glass of water and that is the last breath I saw him take. Around 1:15 on a Tuesday afternoon, Matthew had passed away ,where he always slept , on the floor in a room off our kitchen. The findings without an autopsy were alcohol poisoning.We knew he drank, I went to many AA meetings with him and have found out in passing he had been very depressed, and may have been ill. You would never have thought of him as a depressed young man. He was so full of life, joked, danced,and hardly ever was seen without a smile or a kind word.Matthew was 24 years old (my baby).
The reason I am doing this is to inform people of the dangers of not just illegal drugs but the legal ones as well.And don't think it won't or can't happen to a friend or loved one. There was nothing in this world that could have prepared us for this. He was living at home, hardly ever went out, was my caregiver for 4 years,and was of legal age to buy alcohol. He didn't show signs such as slurring, or tripping, but he did have some hallucinations towards the end. I didn't write this to bum anyone out or to bring people down. I did it because a life is precious, everyone has the right for happiness, and life is too short to let that all go unnoticed. Tell your loved ones everyday how much you love them and how much they mean to you. We get emails every day that tells us to do this , but do we ever really let it sink in?I really hope I expressed my self in some way. This was the hardest thing I have ever had to write but, I feel my heart would burst wide open if I didn't- I will admit these events have changed me but, I haven't stopped the caring. Thank You All For Reading!! AND PLEASE PASS THE MESSAGE ALONG!!!

Circus Museum- Vintage Posters

CIRCUS MUSEUM.Stichting Circusarchief is a Dutch foundation managing a collection of paraphernalia, books, magazines, posters and photographs of Jaap Best (1912-2002).Here's a collection of 174 circus posters.

Hamsters Can Be Vicious Lil' Buggers

When Hamsters Attack is the #1 website for Hamster Attack Prevention.The best ways to prevent a hamster attack is to stay away from tiny exercise wheels. Do not play 'Cher's Greatest Hits' on your boom box. This music has been known to make gerbils turn evil, and may have a similar effect on hamsters. Do not dress entirely in red clothing. You might be mistaken for a giant apple, which most hamsters consider to be a delicious treat.If a hamster is chasing you, climb up a tree and hang onto one of the branches. But be forewarned: if the hamster waves at you, do not wave back. (It's an old hamster trick). If you are attacked by a hamster, curl up into a ball and lie motionless on the ground. Most hamsters don't live past the age of three, so be patient.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Un-Marketable Lunch Boxes

This Looks Like Fun

amazing fly gun And no mess to clean up !!

What Were They Thinking???????????

The sea's full of fish!
Travel firms are used to dealing with holidaymakers' complaints about poor accommodation or dodgy meals.But one firm received a complaint from a holidaymaker angry that his rep had failed to mention that there were fish in the sea, claiming he and his children had been startled by their presence while paddling. Another customer complained there were too many Spaniards in Spain, and one had even found fault with the colour of the beach - pointing out exasperatedly that 'the sand in the brochure is yellow, but when we got there it was white'.And to think they share our planet!!!

Think This Guy Used A Pitchfork- Dangggg

More than 60 percent of Britons use items such as screwdrivers, scissors and earrings to remove food from between their teeth, according to a survey.Others questioned by the British Dental Health Foundation said they used makeshift items, including knives, keys, needles and forks.

A Heartwarming Zoo Ad

A very sweet animation about a monkey and a polar bear. The music playing is "Somewhere Out There"*********.Buenos Aires Zoo - Together
An animated commercial.Awww.*****

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Some Creepy Toys, Bubble Bath, and Games From My Youth