Tuesday, November 21, 2006

For The Next Time You Wonder Who In The Heck Gave That Bozo A License

How to Identify Where A Driver Is From
1. One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: Chicago.2. One hand on wheel, one finger out window: New York.3. One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic: New Jersey.4. One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: Boston.5. One hand on wheel, one hand on nonfat double decaf cappuccino, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator, with gun in lap: Los Angeles.6. Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: Ohio, but driving in California.7. Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat: Italy.8. One hand on latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on radio game: Seattle.9. One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both feet on brake, throwing McDonald's bag out the window: Texas.10. Four-wheel drive pick-up truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna: West Virginia.11. Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above windshield, driving 35 on the Interstate in the left lane with the left blinker on: Florida.