Monday, January 22, 2007

My M&M's- Matthew's True Story

This is a true story of how alcohol stole my young son's life.If you don't read anything else on my pages please READ THIS!! Please copy and paste it wherever you'd like-it's a story that needs to be told!!
I have been going to blog about this for quite a while now.I was always a fraid I would'nt have the right words to say and I realize I may never have them - September of 1975 we were blessed with a beautiful baby girl named Monica ! Her daddy and I were ecstatic as we were beginning to think we wouldn't be able to have kids.The minute this little doll saw her daddy's face she appeared to be saying "Oh daddy I love you so much". I wish we had a camera to embrace this moment but as luck would have it we didn't think about it.In August of 1980 we were once again blessed with a strapping and darling baby boy! He was a spit-fire ( was rolling over minutes after he was born).From day one he was his sister's baby and noone else could pick him up except sis.Every picture we have of Matthew, sis was there too, snuggling him up neath her tiny chin.Even though they were 5 years apart this closeness went on until Matthew was in Jr. High, after that High School came along for big sis so she was able to do more things with her friends and he went his way with his own.
Everyone called them the little M&M's because of their initials and they were always together. And as you can see in the photo they also looked very much alike. I think they were both in 2nd grade when the pics were taken. Different years of course but in the pics , same age.
In March 2005 our world and life as we knew it came crashing down. Matthew and I had our usual gm hug and love yous and then he went back and laid down. He complained of his back hurting and I asked if I could do anything and he said "No mom just a glass of water I am thirsty". So he got his glass of water and that is the last breath I saw him take. Around 1:15 on a Tuesday afternoon, Matthew had passed away ,where he always slept , on the floor in a room off our kitchen. The findings without an autopsy were alcohol poisoning.We knew he drank, I went to many AA meetings with him and have found out in passing he had been very depressed, and may have been ill. You would never have thought of him as a depressed young man. He was so full of life, joked, danced,and hardly ever was seen without a smile or a kind word.Matthew was 24 years old (my baby).
The reason I am doing this is to inform people of the dangers of not just illegal drugs but the legal ones as well.And don't think it won't or can't happen to a friend or loved one. There was nothing in this world that could have prepared us for this. He was living at home, hardly ever went out, was my caregiver for 4 years,and was of legal age to buy alcohol. He didn't show signs such as slurring, or tripping, but he did have some hallucinations towards the end. I didn't write this to bum anyone out or to bring people down. I did it because a life is precious, everyone has the right for happiness, and life is too short to let that all go unnoticed. Tell your loved ones everyday how much you love them and how much they mean to you. We get emails every day that tells us to do this , but do we ever really let it sink in?I really hope I expressed my self in some way. This was the hardest thing I have ever had to write but, I feel my heart would burst wide open if I didn't- I will admit these events have changed me but, I haven't stopped the caring. Thank You All For Reading!! AND PLEASE PASS THE MESSAGE ALONG!!!