Do You Know The Mildew Man??

-- Early last Thursday, thirty year-old Robert Malcolm discovered something eerie caked on his shower wall.
"It was mildew," he said. "Not unusual for my shower, I guess; but it seemed to spell out 'have a good day.' I thought 'what an amazing coincidence,' and I decided to take a picture when I got home from work."
But Malcolm found another moldy note waiting for him when he returned.
"This time it was, 'Hope work went well,' and there was a smiley face below the words," said Malcolm. "The mildew in my apartment was definitely trying to communicate with me."
The apparition has vindicated Malcolm's cleaning habits.
"The stain is alive, and sentient, and obviously grateful I haven't tried to kill it. I think it's developing a bond with me."
Visitors still recoil at the sight of the chatty fungal buildup, but Malcolm still has no intention of scrubbing it away.
"It's nice to have someone to come home to," he said. "I hate to say it, but this mildew's really grown on me."