Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Uhmmm I Guess The President Was Handed Lemons

Article appears courtesy of
Despite the President's enthusiasm, lemonade sales have been extremely slow thus farWASHINGTON, D.C. – In a nationally televised press conference held Tuesday, President Bush announced that he has set up a lemonade stand on the White House's front lawn in the hopes of raising enough money to pay for rebuilding the South, Iraq, and, if there is enough ‘scratch’ left over, Social Security.Bush said he set the lemonade stand up all by himself over the weekend, after seeing a story on Fox News about a little girl from South Dakota who had done the same thing. “And I thought, gee whiz! What a great idea!” said Bush, who immediately went to Wal-Mart and used the presidential credit card to buy approximately $370 dollars worth of lemonade stand materials. The stand, which the president reportedly spent 7 hours making, consists of a fold-out table, a red and white checkered table cloth, a couple of wooden planks, and a poster board ‘Lemonade’ sign. “I spent 5 hours on that sign,” said Bush, who was quick to note that he used only the finest Crayola brand magic markers. “Ain’t she a beaut? You know, I think it’s one of the bestest things I ever done.”However, despite the president's enthusiasm and hard work, lemonade sales have been extremely slow so far.“Would you like some lemonade sir? Only 25 cents!” cried Bush to a man walking past outside the White House fence. "No? I just don't get it. I haven't sold a single cup all day, and I been sittin' here the whole time! It's like, anytime someone looks at me like they're even half-interested in buying some lemonade, these security guys run up out of nowhere and tackle'em!” According to the president’s mother Barbara, 'dubya' has been going through a ‘super-moral’ phase lately, which she has encouraged. “I think it’s good for him to learn the value of money," she said. "After all, he’s not going to be a president forever.” Insiders claim the president's newfound desire to raise money is due to the criticism he's received for purportedly plunging the country even further into debt. Nevertheless, despite his detractors, the president remains determined. “I wanna do what I can to help out with the budget and stuff,” shrugged Bush. “If it means I have to sit here and sell a hundred gajillion cups of lemonade, well, then that's what I'm gonna do. I only wish I could somehow do more