Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Help Poor Santa Out

SANTA NEEDS YOUR HELP!!!Well it finally happened. After centuries of slaving away making gifts for everyone around the world, the elves have snapped! It was the constant pounding of those little hammers that did it. That plus, suffering from "low elf esteem" and having to wear those ridiculous little costumes. Imagine having to listen to Christmas music 24/7 over very bad speakers. And it's always the little people that do all the work and the big guy in the suit gets all the credit. And this big guy always seems to know when they are sleeping, when they're awake, even when they've been good or bad, for goodness sake! These "Subordinate Clauses" need a break! The elves have gone postal! Like college students on spring break, they are crazy, berserk and are causing mischief wherever they go.
...Chasing women and reindeer, whatever their short little legs can catch......switching names from the nice to the naughty list......mixing up all the presents.....Bullying snowmen...Santa is SO worried that he has issued a SAFETY ALERT until all the elves are found and sent home to the North Pole! So you better watch out, you'd better not pout, the elves are coming to town!