Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Some Uses For Peanut Butter

1.Mix it with a large amount of brown sugar. Form into small spheres. Set on cookie sheet and leave on counter as if cooling.
2. Take one bite then chew for several minutes to see if anyone notices. If not, keep chewing. After half an hour try to talk.
3.Put it in the bell of your brass instrument to make interesting new sounds. Try different amounts.
4. Coat the lower half of your bicycle with it. Ride around town so everyone will think you were riding in the mud.
5. Fill a swimming pool with it and hang a "basket" on the edge and get all your friends together to play "Killer BBall."
6. Two words: eye shadow.
7.Keep some in your wallet "just in case."
8. Inhale deeply...
9. Use it in cookie recipes in place of the butter.
10. Some people like it on scrambled eggs...
11. Lubricate the garbage disposal with it occasionally.
12. Throw this list away and just eat it on sandwiches. Loser.
13. Keep out of reach of children.
14. If you have pimples spread it on your face overnight as an acne treatment to clear up the complexion.
15. Mail it to Barney.It will get stuck to the roof of his mouth so he cant sing.
16.Let it dry out and use it as silly putty.
17. Let it dry out and use it as fake plastic explosive in a joke.
18. Spread it on your palm then go through a wedding reception line.
19.Make Peanut Butter Vegetable and Beef Soup.
20. See how much will fit in a floppy disk drive slot. (NIMBY