Dry your nail varnish the fast and fun way with the super-cute Blow Monkey.
If you're tired of flapping your hands about like you've got some kind of nervous tic in an attempt to dry your nail varnish, this is for you. The Blow Monkey is nothing to do with the pretentious late 80s band – it's a handy little device that not only speeds your way to pristine nails, but brightens up your day with its unashamed cuteness too.
The Blow Monkey Nail Dryer is unlike any beauty gadget you've ever seen before. Press on his plate of bananas, and this sweet little simian blows cool air onto your wet nails. The air jet is just powerful enough to help your nails dry more quickly, but not so powerful that it blows your carefully applied polish off.
As useful as he may be to your beauty regime, if we're honest, it's the cuteness of this cheeky little chimp that really made him such a hit here at Stuff HQ. The Blow Monkey is the perfect addition to your dressing table if you're looking for something really different and quirky, and also makes a gorgeous and unusual gift. His size makes him ideal for taking on your travels, and an auto-off switch helps to save power.
Normally getting a monkey to help you glam up wouldn't be something we'd recommend, but the Blow Monkey is different. How could you resist?
Uses 2 x AAA batteries, included.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Novelty Nail Dryer
Monday, January 15, 2007
What Is Your Theory?
Who came up with the idea of putting paper umbrellas in cocktails?
Nobody really knows who invented the cocktail umbrella, but that doesn't mean we can't waste a few minutes kicking around some theories.An amusing article from Metroactive suggests the umbrella may have originated at a famed Bay Area bar named Trader Vic's.The Straight Dope's digging provided more clues. According to Peter Seely, grandson of the founder, "never in its history had Trader Vic's served a drink with a cocktail umbrella." However the founder's son contradicts this, saying Trader Vic's did indeed serve cocktails with umbrellas until the early 1940s.While the folks at Trader Vic's may have made the paper umbrella what it is today, they didn't come up with the original idea. According to several sources, Vic's "borrowed" the decoration from a chap named Don the Beachcomber.Don, Vic, whatever. The real question is, where did these guys get the umbrellas? They didn't make 'em themselves, did they? Though there's no definitive evidence, many believe the umbrellas were a Chinese American invention, possibly designed to shield ice cubes from the sun.Whoever it was, he or she can take pride in the fact their invention is a part of every mai tai and just as important as the rum. Cheers to that.
Hula Dancer Dances Out Your Message
INTERACTIVE HULA DANCER****Send a message of Aloha with theInteractive Hula Dancer.Build your message by dragging words and phrases from a list.Then press 'Dance It.'
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Some Funny Student Answers
From test papers, essays, etc. The spellings are the original ones.
H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.
To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.
When you smell an oderless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.
Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is water and gin.
A super saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.
Liter: A nest of young puppies.
Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat.
Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away.
Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives.
The pistol of the flower is its only protection against insects.
A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is.
To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.
For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower that the heart until the heart stops.
For head colds: use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat.
Germinate: To become a naturalized German.
The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Blood flows down one leg and up the other.
Saturday, January 13, 2007
I Am Not Gonna Comment Heh
- New Jersey is to consider cutting the word 'idiot' from its constitution so that people with some mental disabilities won't be barred from voting.
State Senate President Richard Codey introduced a bill on Monday that would remove language from the New Jersey constitution that was designed more than 150 years ago to prevent people suffering from mental illness or handicap from casting their vote in national, state or local elections.
Codey wants to eliminate a section that says "no idiot or insane person should enjoy the right of suffrage" and substitute with a reference to "a person who has been adjudicated by a court of competent jurisdiction to lack the capacity to understand the act of voting."
Codey, a Democrat who was previously acting governor of New Jersey, said in a statement the term "idiot" is "outdated, vague, offensive to many and may be subject to misinterpretation."
He said individuals with cognitive or emotional disabilities may be capable of making decisions in a voting booth, and those people should not be discriminated against.
"This is another big step towards removing the stigma of mental illness," Codey said.
The proposed changes will be included in a constitutional amendment which voters will be asked to approve in a statewide ballot in November. It must first be cleared by the state legislature.
Prozac For Precious Puss-Puss
WHAT could be wrong with Shadow? The green-eyed, long-haired cat had adapted well to his Santa Monica home. There was a carpeted cat tree in the living room for his climbing pleasure. He appeared to have reached an understanding about sharing the house with the other resident feline.Then one day his owners saw wet spots around the house: Shadow was urine-spraying. The door was a favorite target. So was the side of the sofa. And a corner wall of the living room.Not to be confused with eschewing the litter pan, spraying is a ritual of territorial marking that cats sometimes do whether they are spayed or neutered — as Shadow is — or not.Shadow's keepers, Fernanda Gray and Elliot Goldberg, were distressed. Pet ownership, they believe, is a trust not to be betrayed. "I don't throw animals away," said Gray, who with her husband now owns three cats.But Shadow's spraying had tested the couple's resolve. They had to replace draperies, carpeting and the sofa. Their veterinarian was running out of ideas to discourage Shadow's habit.Then Gray saw a small newspaper ad in 2001: "Spraying Cats Needed for Study." Shadow was accepted into a double-blind study of an undisclosed medication's effect on the behavior.Fourteen days later, the spraying abruptly stopped.The drug was Prozac. Five years later, Shadow is still taking the medication — half a 10-milligram tablet once a day — in its generic form, fluoxetine, a $16 supply of which lasts about four months."He's still active, he's still his hyperactive self," Gray said. "But it just takes that anxiety away."
You Lied**************
This is real ice, a real ocean, and you are a real butthole****So much for special effects you moron***Why???????
Sorry And Thanks For All The Fish In Real Time
Whale 'Says Sorry' For Boat Smash
A sailor whose boat was crippled by a humpback whale says he thinks the animal tried to say sorry to him, because he got a 'good vibe' from the animal.
The Loose Goose – a brand-new 30ft trimaran belonging to Lindsay Wright – was sailing about 80 nautical miles west of New Zealand when there was an unfortunate boat/whale interface event.
Wright, who was asleep at the time, was startled awake by a loud noise.
When he ran onto the deck, he couldn't help but notice the head of a large humpback whale about a foot from his boat – along with a pod of around six other whales.
Link
Friday, January 12, 2007
What About Mike
Mike likes going to the city. He especialy like the food. He even more especialy likes the popcorn. Mike thinks popcorn is the food of the gods. Mike is an idiot.
A Funny I Am Sorry Note
Dear Person.
I'm sorry I put a dent in your car.I didn't want to, but I did when I parked next to you. I am not leaving my information because you chose to use two spaces and I just wanted to park in one.The scratches are because I used a towel that had sand on it to try to clean the dent/paint off. Beaches are fun.
Caviar Expendable Vendable
Caviar Vending Machine
It looks like the Russians have trumped the Japanese with this caviar vending machine. [via]
This Cat Should Look Fat and Happy
Fat Cat Done In By Doggie Door
A disappearing pet food mystery was solved when a fat cat burglar got stuck in a doggie door.The case began when an Oregon woman noticed that large portions of food were disappearing from her pets' bowls in the garage.Then Jadwiga Drozdek discovered a 20-pound cat wedged in the doggy door built into her garage door.After Drozdek helped the cat squeeze out of the doggy door, she gave the stray some food and took him to a Humane Society shelter.With video.The Humane Society had planned to put the cat up for adoption, but a neighbour of the owner who saw the report on TV has claimed the cat and said he had been missing for six months. The neighbour has now been reunited with the cat.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Study On How Women Dress May Make Bums Attractive
Study to understand as to how certain dresses makes a female bum attractive
World's first study on how clothing impacts the way a female rear looks is being done by experts from Scotland's Heriot Watt University's School of Textiles and Design. The researchers believe that this study will be a pointer for retailers' world-over. In this study, four female models having varied bottom sizes will don different types of dresses whic will be photographed for examination. It will also try to understand as to how colors, designs, patterns influence perceptions. The four bum sizes taken into consideration include 'standard', 'pre-Raphaelite', 'small' and 'curvier'.
Dr Lisa Macintyre, leader of the study, of Heriot-Watt University said: “This study will provide detailed information to enable designers to make the clothes that help women make the most of their natural assets.” Participants will be asked to take a look at the photographs and say how big or small each model's rear appears to them.Dr Macintyre added: “There's much discussion in the media of clothing styles that flatter the body and it's generally accepted that enhancing body perception can improve confidence and self-esteem.”
Chinese People Are Funny Too
A single Chinese man owns a Chinese restaurant, and one day a beautiful Chinese woman walks in. He immediately walks over and asks her out on a date. She agrees. They go out for a while, and soon, the man proposes to her. She says "Yes, but before we do, there's something you must know. I have never had the sex, but I've read about it." He says that it's not a problem, and they are married. On their honeymoon, the man tells his wife that since she's a virgin, she can choose what they do first. She says "Oh, most honorable husband. I am honored to be your wife, even though I have never had the sex, but I've read about it. So, I have chosen to have the 69. The husband looks confused, and after thinking about it, he says "You want.. the beef and broccoli?"
Surviving Inside A Whale
What to do if you're swallowed by a whale....( this is serious)
Chances are you won’t need this information…but …. what if?……
Advice for Swallowees
Once inside, sit tight and try not to touch anything if at all possible. Gastric processes are invasive and skin does not recover well from encounters with digestive fluids. The process by which gastric acid handles food is slow and wearing clothing, especially of the synthetic variety, is likely to buy you some time.
Escape from the belly of a whale, aside from simple survival, may be far more difficult as the majority of whales - especially the Baleen whales that rely on sieving minuscule marine life forms for their diet - have complex digestive systems. They may have up to four stomach chambers, rather like the multi-stomach system of a cow, which allows a controlled channelling of foodstuffs through the digestive system. There is also the constant intake of seawater that results from their feeding processes. Unless someone is looking for you, or you have a very large cutting implement and a strong stomach, you may have to be satisfied with simply surviving until starvation takes you or good fortune saves the day.
If all else fails you might consider using pepper or a small fire to smoke your way out.
More info here.
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Another Garbage Can Scare Prank
Another Garbage Man Scare Prank
I guess it's not bad enough that garbage men have to get up at the crack of dawn to take away all our trash now they have to be worried about kids jumping out of cans to scare them. However I will admit their reactions are pretty funny.
Why google Guys Didn't Make Man-Of-The-Year
10. Funny how surfing for porn can result in the need for developing a better search engine. 9. In retrospect, quitting their minimum wage job at Wal-Mart was a damn good idea! 8. Rejoice computer geeks everywhere - now, you too can become a billionaire, move out of your parents’ basement, and go on to have a life! 7. They’ve never forgotten their roots - to this day, they still play Dungeons and Dragons every Friday night. 6. Successfully denied a claim by Bill Gates that they are his illegitimate children and owe him billions in sire fees. 5. Poster children for dropping out of university. 4. Without Google, we’d all have to spend countless boring hours in a public library. 3. They’re relieved that they’re not sitting on an oil reserve - that means they’re not in danger of being invaded by the Bush administration. 2. Parents relieved that all those claims of “I’m in my room playing with my mouse” turned out NOT to be masturbation-related. 1. Successfully combined the words “Go” and “Ogle”!
"Imaginary Friends
Parents Group Slams Mattel's "Imaginary Friend"
DETROIT, Michigan - Parents Against Misleading Marketing, an organization combating child-focused advertising, is speaking out against Mattel's latest offering, "My Imaginary Friend". "It's an empty package! That's it, just a package," complained PAMM spokesman Arthur McGillikan, "But the ads make it look like you're getting a buddy in a box. My daughter still doesn't understand why I won't buy her one, she thinks I'm the bad guy." The group has organized numerous protests in Michigan and Ohio and hopes to take their message nationally through the summer.
"['Imaginary Friend'] lets their youngsters' imaginations run wild."
-- Mattel spokesman, Kirby Codd "I bought one for my daughter, and they're right, it is just an empty box," said Marilyn Moore, mother of an 8-year-old girl, "But she wanted it so bad. She thought it would ride the merry-go-round with her, go to school with her, have sleepovers with her, just like in the ads. I tried to explain it to her, but she just couldn't understand." Moore admitted her daughter has not been satisfied with the "Friend". "She was disappointed, sure," said Moore, "But she did have a little fun with the box. It wasn't worth $30, though."
Despite a near universal thumbs-down from parents, Mattel defends the product. Said Mattel spokesman, Kirby Codd, "For years, parents groups have been complaining that toys are replacing their precious children's imaginations. 'When we were kids, the toy guns were sticks,' they said. So we have presented them with an option that lets their youngsters' imaginations run wild and still they complain. We can't win." Sales indicate that whether parents' approve or not, they are buying the toy. Codd said Mattel does not disclose sales figures, but indicated that sales of "Friend" were "brisk". "It definitely hasn't been a loser for us," he said.
"They are on relatively stable legal ground," said marketing legal expert Barbara-Ann Pique, "The question is not at all if they are selling an empty box of air. They are, and there's nothing illegal about that. The question is, are they genuinely misleading the purchaser, the one that is intended to hand over the money in exchange for the product. Not the child, the purchaser. In this case, it would be very tough to prove that any competent adult bought the product without understanding its nature."
Some people don't fault Mattel at all. "I think it's a great idea," enthused Polly-Sue Murmkin, "I bought one for myself. We watch game shows on the couch together. I even bought another one so she wouldn't get lonely while I'm at work. I named them both 'Tabitha', since I can't tell them apart anyway."
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Chanel #5 Competition?
This Limited Edition Cologne was created to celebrate the 50th Birthday of Play-Doh! Hasbro said the fragrance is "meant for highly-creative people, who seek a whimsical scent reminiscent of their childhood
Where Are Your Little Ones?
Apron Strings, Inc. has marketed a new cell phone that lets you keep track of your kids wherever they go.
The innovative new phone comes with a giant spool of string with one end connected to the phone. Parents simply keep the other end of the string, and they can follow it back to where their kids are anytime they want.
“I think it’s just fabulous,” one mom gushed. “When I need little Joshua to come in to dinner I just tug on the string to get his attention. And, if he doesn’t respond fast enough, I just pull really hard on the string and drag him home,” she giggled. “I think it’s the greatest invention since reality TV.”
A spokesperson for Apron Strings said they also manufacture a Deluxe model that uses monofilament instead of string so that the kids don’t know they’re being tracked, and a Super Deluxe model that includes sections of bungee cord to pull the kids back when they stray too far.
Extra spools of string, monofilament or bungee cord may be added to the phone for a small monthly charge.
Coffee House Madness
The normally relaxed atmosphere of coffeehouses across the country has turned into a seething den of madness as patrons increase by the hundreds.Photo: Reaction to news of coffee shortage
Fueled by the lack of employment and economic stress, people are flocking to local coffeehouses in search of some sort of relief that can usually be found at these normally quiet, comfortable establishments. Instead they are finding long lines, exhausted employees and nothing left but decaf. At Right -> The normally relaxed atmosphere of coffeehouses across the country has turned into a seething den of madness as patrons increase by the hundreds.Photo: Reaction to news of coffee shortage
Fueled by the lack of employment and economic stress, people are flocking to local coffeehouses in search of some sort of relief that can usually be found at these normally quiet, comfortable establishments. Instead they are finding long lines, exhausted employees and nothing left but decaf. At Right ->A customer was furious that her hot tea was made with tap water
A spokesperson for Instant Coffee, the largest coffeehouse chain in the country, says that the sudden demand caught them off guard and they are doing everything possible to improve service including hiring additional employees and spiking their decaf coffee with amphetamines until the regular caffeinated coffee arrives at stores. <- At Left: Overcrowded coffee shops are filled with anxious job seekers
But this hasn’t solved the current problem of unruly patrons demanding triple lactose-free twice-dripped soy-mocha lattes which can take an employee up to 45 minutes to prepare. “And if it’s not perfect or too hot, they throw it in your face,” says one worker who recently quit as a result of third-degree burns. He says that once he’s healed he plans to work in a diner where the only coffee they serve is black.
Monday, January 08, 2007
A Little Winter Relief In Sight
We have so much snow here in Anchorage that we don't know what to do with it- Maybe we should contract this person to make our winter seem shorter. Hmmmmm wonder what paper he is reading??
Top Ten Don'ts For Meeting Aliens:
1.Don't attempt to shake hands. What appears to be their hand may be some other appendage.
2.Don't smile. Showing your teeth could be construed as aggression.
3.Don't offer them any alcoholic beverages. Even if alcohol isn't toxic to them, the last thing we need is an intoxicated alien crashing his ship into the earth. Don't let them drink and fly. (The same goes for drugs - prescription or otherwise.)
4.Don't offer them food unless they demand it. You have no way of knowing their tastes and their reaction to your best meat loaf may not be what you'd expect. ( If they eat the dishes don't make a fuss.)
5.Don't try to recruit them in a multi-level marketing scheme, try to sell them any Florida swampland or the Brooklyn Bridge, or rip them off by other means.
6.Don't assume just because they're space travelers that they will be good ambassadors or even smart. Remember where most of our own astronauts come from. They may be military types with little or no social graces. ( No jokes please, their sense of humor may be totally "alien" or even non-existent with no sense of irony or sarcasm.)
7.Don't swear, use expletives or use colloquialisms, which they won't understand or worse yet, may take literally,such as "Well, ---- me!".
8.Don't take personally any slights they seem to make. They don't know our customs either and they could just be having a bad day or suffering from jet-lag. Remember how you feel after a long flight.
9.Don't exhibit any disgust at their appearance or behavior. You probably seem just as disgusting to them.
10.Above all don't piss them off. Go along with whatever they want. Close your eyes and think of Earth.
GOOD LUCK!
Sunday, January 07, 2007
Saturday, January 06, 2007
Actual Calls
Customer: I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help? Operator: Where did you get that number from, sir? Customer: It was on the door to the travel centre. Operator: They're our opening hours.
Caller: Can you give me the telephone number for Jack? Operator: I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about. Caller: In the user guide it clearly states I need to unplug the fax machine from the wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Can you give me his number? Operator: I think you mean the telephone point on the wall.
Caller: Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia? Operator: Doesn't the name of the product give you a clue?
Caller: If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?
Caller: I"d like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please. Operator: I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct? Caller: Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B fell off.
Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven. Operator: Woven? Are you sure? Caller: Yes. That''s what it says on the label: Woven in Scotland.
On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: I haven't got a pen, so I"m steaming up the window to write the number on.
Tech Support: I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop. Customer: OK. Tech Support: Did you get a pop-up menu?" Customer: No. Tech Support:OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu? Customer: No. Tech Support: OK. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point? Customer: Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'.
Tech Support: OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed? Customer: Wow. How can you see my screen from there?
Pre-Wedding Joke Apparently Not Funny
Wedding jokes aren't always funny. When a bride in Austria jokingly answered "no" instead of "yes" when asked if she wanted to marry her husband-to-be, the official performing the civil wedding promptly broke off the ceremony.Not even the bride's sobs could reverse the decision and the couple had to wait two and a half months before they could give it another - successful - try, the Austrian newspaper Oberoesterreichischen Nachrichten reported Friday.Officials at the registry office in the city of Steyr where the mishap occurred declined to comment directly but noted the incident was highly unusual, according to the newspaper.
