Monday, February 05, 2007

Who Knew???????

Misery Actually Hates Company
In a statement yesterday, Misery came forward and admitted that, after all of their years together, it in fact hates Company.
“You know, I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately, by myself, and arrived at the conclusion that no, I don’t love Company. Having Company around for so long has been truly horrible and now I finally feel the need to say something. It was an incredibly painful and heart-wrenching decision, after all, I am Misery, but I just know deep down that the situation between Company and I cannot continue,” Misery said from its home in Port Washington, Long Island.
The extreme emotion went on to emphasize that Company is fine for others and they can enjoy it as much as they want, but for Misery, the situation is different.
"For all of eternity, I have had to be cheerless, dejected, and gloomy, and with Company around, I not only felt these emotions, but had to see their physical embodiment in another as well. Had we stayed together much longer, I fear that I would no longer be myself and could even become Severe Depression, and the world already has plenty of that."
When questioned about what it would do next, Misery said it was considering moving to Montana to “finally be able to mope around and sulk in solitude and peace.”
Company could not be reached for comment.