Thursday, February 08, 2007

Diamonds..... Not A Man's Best Friend

Diamonds... Not A Man's Best Friend You are all of course familiar with the diamond industry's suggestion that a man should spend two month's salary to procure a diamond ring for his loved one. Well Mr. Manners would like to take the diamond industry to task for this unbelievably rude and intrusive recommendation. Mr. Manners wonders what other business would have the gall to tell its customers how much to spend on their product. As hard as he tries he cannot imagine his local butcher cajoling him to spend two hour's wages on his next cut of beef. Nor can he think of a situation wherein his neighborhood 7-11 gently reminds him that the truly suave sophisticate spends a week's salary on his Slurpee purchase. What irks Mr. Manners even more is the fact that the diamond robber barons want the customer to spend over 15% of their gross salary to buy what amounts to an over-ripened piece of sparkly carbon. So in order to put the diamond industry in its place, here are a few new rules for a man looking to buy a special ring for his loved one. Tin Foil: A Lady's Best Friend - A ball of tightly rolled tin foil gives off the same amount of sparkle as does a diamond and has an wonderful silvery luminescence about it. Cubic Zirconium - Only a snob with a microscope attached to his eye can tell the difference so just buy the biggest, cheapest thing out there and everyone's jaw will drop. Glass Chips- In a pinch, feel free to break up a Coke bottle or other glass jar. Chances are a diamond shaped shard will be created that you can stick in an old band and no one will be the wiser. So don't cave in under the pressure; don't buy a diamond. Besides, if she really loves you she’ll swoon over the 1.3 carat tin foil ring on a 14K gold band with channel set glass chips. Thank you and good-manners to all.