~~Things Cats Should Remember~~

I must perfect a death stare to give my human every time I am disturbed.

If I vomit on the carpet after overeating yet again I must stand up and walk away without the slightest hint of a care.

I should not assume the patio door is open when I race outside to chase leaves.

If I put a live mouse in my food bowl, I should not expect it to stay there until I get hungry.

The guinea pig likes to sleep once in a while. I will not watch him constantly.

If I bite the cactus, it will bite back.

I will not stand on the bathroom counter, stare down the hall, and growl at nothing (especially right after my human has finished watching "The X-Files").