Irritate The Neighbors

Re-paint their house for them. . . in plaid.



Run around naked in their front yard singing "Born Free"

Throw waterbombs at their house, water bombs filled with INK!!

Bake them an apple pie and send it to them, without telling them the 2 secret ingredients inside - spicy seasonings and laxatives

Borrow a cup of milk 3 times a day

Buy 6 blocks of bottle rockets and fire them off.....on Christmas Eve...at 12:00

Call them and ask them if their refrigerator is running every night @8:13p.m.

Dress in drag and do a hula on their front lawn

Dye the fur on all of their pets lime green

Have teenage boys with loud car stereos drive by their house at 2 AM.

Have your rock & roll band practice at night

Hotwire their bird bath.

Install a heliport in the backyard

Invite your friends over to howl at the full moon.

Lost In Translation

Acapulco hotel sign: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
Athens Hotel: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 daily.
Athens, Greece hotel: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.
Austrian hotel catering to skiers: Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.
Bangkok dry cleaners: Drop your trousers here for best results.
Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.

Show Your Talent

Drawing board by LayoutCodez.net

In the presence of an angel everything is beautiful.

"I seldom think about my limitations, and they never make me sad. Perhaps there is just a touch of yearning at times; but it is vague, like a breeze among flowers."--Helen Keller

Monopoly Facts
Monopoly was invented by Charles B. Darrow during the Depression in the 1934 and at first it was rejected by Parker Brothers due to "52 design errors"! Streets in Monopoly are taken from Atlantic City, New Jersey. Game was very popular in Cuba until Fidel Castro took power and burned all the Monopoly sets. Standard Monopoly bank starts with $15,140 and it is estimated that Monopoly has been sold 250 million times through out the world.

~~Dating Tips For The Small Fry~~

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to knoweach other. Even boys have something to say if you listen longenough.– Lynnette, age 8
On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usuallygets them interested enough to go for a second date.– Martin, age 10
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?I’d run home and play dead. The next day I would call all thenewspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the deadcolumns.– Craig, age 9
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?When they’re rich.– Pam, age 7The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to messwith that.- - Curt, age 7
The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marrythem and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do.– Howard, age 8

End of April

~Phillis Levin~
Under a cherry tree I found a robin’s egg,broken, but not shattered.
I had been thinking of you,and was kneeling in the grass among fallen blossoms
when I saw it: a blue scrap,a delicate toy, as light as confetti
It didn’t seem real,but nature will do such things from time to time.
I looked inside:it was glistening, hollow,a perfect shell
except for the missing crown,which made it possible to look inside.
What had been there is gone now and lives in my heart
where, periodically,it opens up its wings,tearing me apart.

Rambimbo.No wonder she looks unhappy--That ammo belt has got to chafe like a bear.I thought this was the only Big Gun picture I'd ever see with no phallic overtones until I noticed the positioning of the grenades.I don't know what scent it is, but judging from the burning Vietnamese village in the background, it's probably "Napalm in the Morning."

I'd Love To Be A Fairy's Child

Children born of fairy stock

Never need for shirt or frock,

Never want for food or fire,

Always get their heart's desire:

Jingle pockets full of gold,

Marry when they're seven years old.

Every fairy child may keep

Two strong ponies and ten sheep;

All have houses, each his own,

Built of brick or granite stone;

They live on cherries, they run wild --

I'd love to be a fairy's child.

ROBERT GRAVES

Onto the sea I sailed my boat

And prayed that it Would stay afloat

From dawn til dusk,From dusk til dawn,

In search of love I drifted on

What happened then,I don't recall

I think it was A sudden squall

For when I awoke ,I thought I died

At the sight of an angel At my side

But lucky for me,That was not true,

For I found love,And love was you.

- Britney Brundage -

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

- liquid webtoy.~~A time waster~~Check it out.

What's all this about wanting Peas on Earth all the time?
What's wrong with corn, or carrots?

Why don't we ever wish for "World Broccoli!"?
Or ask our children for a little "Cucumbersand Quiet!"?
Why is it, when we're troubled, we never pray for "Inner Apricots"?
How did this incredible obsession with vegetables, ever begin?
It might just be, however: that if everybody gardened;

they'd all get along better with most of their neighbors.

Someone you will always love, will hide something so no one but you can find.

He was warned to chew before he swallowed that pretzel.

I would like to do something a little different. I want people to know what the reason was for the topics I pick or what was running through my mind at the time.This cartoon made me smile because it reminded me of those people you see sometimes with the cut out jeans that show their hiney's.I also like the way his hiney is shaped like a perfect heart.

Men who try to pull off being women!

National Women’s History Month’s roots go back to March 8, 1857, when women from New York City factories staged a protest over working conditions. International Women’s Day was first observed in 1909, but it wasn’t until 1981 that Congress established National Women’s History Week during the second week of March. In 1987, Congress expanded the week to a month. Every year since, Congress has passed a resolution for Women’s History Month, and the president has issued a proclamation.
152 million The number of females in the United States as of Nov. 1, 2006. That exceeds the number of males (148 million). <http://www.census.gov/popest/national/asrh/2005_nat_res.html>
As of July 1, 2005, males outnumbered females in every five-year age group through the 35 to 39 age group. Starting with the 40 to 44 age group, women outnumbered men. At 85 and over, there were more than twice as many women as men. <http://www.census.gov/popest/national/asrh/NC-EST2005-sa.html>

Emily Dickinson, whose odd and inventive poems helped to initiate modern poetry, is an enigma, a mystery, a paradox. Only ten of her poems were published in her lifetime. We know of her work only because her sister and two of her long-time friends brought them to public attention after Dickinson died.

There will be many posts with poems,art,crafts,and things I enjoy and love.I also love winged things so they will appear often. Most everything has an optimistic feel to it ~Please relax and enjoy ~

A path winding across the horizon over mountains, across seas ,through blue skies and gray never ceasing, continuous.My love for you.- A.J. Miller -

~~Taurus~~

TAURUS (April 20–May 20) Don't ignore your basic instincts this week. Your body tells you what it needs and you have to satisfy this as best you can. Try to avoid becoming inflexible this week.Key word for the week: sharingYour luckiest aspect this week: friendshipWho to spend time with: Leo

“Creativity is inventing, experimenting, growing, taking risks, breaking rules, making mistakes, and having fun.” — Mary Lou Cook

"Do not be discouraged by what you do not know — but be encouraged by what you can learn." — Unknown

"If you hear a voice within you say 'you cannot paint,' then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced." — Vincent Van Gogh

"Invent your world; surround yourself with people, color, sounds and work that nourish you." — SARK, Living Juicy

"Whenever an answer, a solution, or a creative idea is needed, stop thinking for a moment by focusing attention on your inner energy field. … When you resume thinking, it will be fresh and creative." — Eckhart Tolle, Practicing the Power of Now.

Yup folks he got himself in a log jam! He says this was his first time using a chain saw too! Yup they walk among us~~

The Adventures of Herman the Banana Dude ~http://members.aol.com/bumingler/bananas.html

Artist sells microscopic sculptures for gargantuan £11m
An artist from Birmingham who makes tiny sculptures which can fit into the eye of a needle has sold his collection for £11.2m to entrepreneur David Lloyd. Willard Wigan is known for his painstaking care, working between heartbeats to avoid hand tremors.His work is normally only visible through a microscope and includes micro sculptures of Elvis, the Statue of Liberty and Snow White. He uses a tiny surgical blade to carve sculptures out of rice and sugar, and paints using an eyelash as a brush. His 70-piece collection has sold for about £160,000 an item. Mr Wigan, who has learning difficulties and cannot read or write, says that as a child he used his art to express himself.

Yes Uncle Ted taped Matrix 4 on his t.v.Do I need to mention Ted is a wee bit off?

Now you can see why men are men and women are women~~Most men would make some ugly gals~~

While shopping one day, I came across a hobby horse sitting on a shelf. I held it for a moment, remembering how badly I had wanted one when I was younger. At that moment I realized that this childhood dream was actually
A SEVERED HORSE HEAD ON A STICK.

Do you love trivia?If you do there are lots of categories to choose from here.Absurd Trivia Trivia quiz website containing quizzes on television, movies, films, celebrities, music and general knowledge.

Church of Texas Holdem
An online poker site like none you have ever seen.Let Father Ashley lead you from being lost to show you how to get rich playing poker!!Mostly kid friendly~~I am posting this on a Sunday so hope I will be forgiven.

People will start a website about anything~~This one is all about balls and round objects~~All Ball - http://www.allball.org/THE WORLD'S ONLY KNOWN BALL ARCHIVE!

An Ownage Poem I Am Guessing:

My memories of you go by like rows of butterflies on crutches.
We were the blind desperately unbuttoning the blind, lost in the blur of the forbidden.
Until your voice, like the shock of cold chicken, ripped my heart out and beat it like a seal pup, into your front porch.
Suddenly, my life was invaded by a drunken synchronized-swim team of emotions...
As the book of my soul began to fill with coffee rings.
Now I know that my life is a only metaphor, for something infinitely worse -
But your cruelty can never keep its freshness.
One day, your beauty too, will be gone like lost socks from a dryer.
© Elas Giordano 1995