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Wednesday, November 15, 2006

With The Holidays Near Some Things To Help With The Boredom While Waiting In Line



Hey, does this feel like I'm cracking an egg on your head?
So, if you had a time machine, would you go back in time and nail Lynda Carter? I would. Totally. But, as, you know, Diana Prince. 'Cause as Wonder Woman, that would just be too weird.
You gonna eat those?
Are those baby carrots? What are you, a stoopid moron? You know they just take adult carrots and shave 'em down, right?
Soy milk? Seriously? Well, it takes all kinds, I guess.
Fig Newtons are wimpy food.
Bagged salad? Lazy bugger ain't ya
High five me, or i will scream
Know what's in those? Rat poop I'm serious, it's an ingredient, but hey, you wanna feed your kids rat poop you be my guest. I'm kidding. Who the heck would have kids with you?
I didn't bump you with my cart. Why do you think I bumped you with my cart? There's like, a million people here.
Okay, that time I bumped you with my cart.
OH! Man!. Peanut butter. Man, the wife is gonna kill when I get home with no peanut butter. Can I take yours? I mean we both know you're not married.
I just can't get over how few lines they have open. I mean, what, was there a run on greasy-faced teens and white trash grannies at the minimum wage store that I somehow missed?

I SAID HIGH FIVE, WHAT, YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH NOW?! I'm just kidding.
But seriously, that's the last time I let it go. Whoa look at those headlines "Paris Hilton's daddy was a chihuahua". Oh dude. I don't think beef ramen has real beef in it- who knows what it really is. What do u mean I have been in the wrong line this whole time? It's the express lane and i only have 1 item. You say there's a special line for under 5 items?So I ask" where is this line?" and the salesgirl points to the exit- Some people just don't appreciate a nice fella.

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